...

Today is a really bad day... I stayed at home from work with a 'headache'... but I jut felt so empty and numb and dead. How do you explain something like this to somebody?! So you just lie. ...
I can't even cry. Sometimes this is the worst. No great breakdown, no tears, no big feelings. I'm just lying there, staring at the tv screen without really seeing anything. Just this numbness inside me and everywhere around me, like I'm stuck in a big grey cottonball and nothing reaches me anymore, and it feels like the world will be grey forever and ever, and I'm not even afraid of it, because there is nothing left inside me to be afraid. Just grey hollow nothingness in me.

I know this doesn't make sense to anyone. maybe it won't even make sense to me tomorrow. but today it's all that is left...