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what's so wrong with me? why am i never good enough for anyone?!.....

"I am a Princess"

Beautiful! I love it <3

SneakPreview: "Erlöse uns von den Bösen"

Sneakfilm der Woche: "Wer braucht schon Schlaf, ich kauere hier mit meinem selbstgebastelten Kreuz in meiner hell erleuchteten Schlafzimmerecke bis es draußen wieder hell wird." ... oh, ne, moment, das ist eine Beschreibung meines derzeitigen Zustandes. Der Film hieß "Erlöse uns von dem Bösen" Der Plot ist schnell erzählt: ein kaputter Polizist und ein kaputter Priester müssen Dämonen, die Menschen befallen haben und zu bösen Taten treiben, besiegen.
Das einzige was meine Rest-Sanity etwas gerettet hat, war, dass mir alle fünf Minuten wieder auffiel, dass einer der Hauptdarsteller aussieht wie Daniel Schulz (echt jetzt!)
Der Film an sich war eigentlich wirklich gut, netter Plot, wirklich wirklich gute Schauspieler, und würde von mir eine 7,5 kriegen.... wären da nicht die Unmengen von bösen Jumpscares (je nachdem wen man fragt, waren es zwischen ca. 3-4 [Ulfs Meinung] und 15-20 [Ankes und meine Meinung}  ), die leider auch noch eigentlich total unnötig waren, da der Film auch ohne sie extrem spannend gewesen wäre. Für mich persönlich sorgt das allerdings dafür, dass ich mir diesen Film wohl nie wieder ansehen werde und ich ziehe deswegen 2,5 Punkte ab. Das bedeutet dann eine Endwertung von 5 Jumping Jacks.
Wer gute Exorzistenfilme mit vielen Schreckeffekten mag, ist hier echt gut unterhalten. Wer eher schreckhaft ist, sollte sich diesen Film nicht im Kino ansehen.

...

Today is a really bad day... I stayed at home from work with a 'headache'... but I jut felt so empty and numb and dead. How do you explain something like this to somebody?! So you just lie. ...
I can't even cry. Sometimes this is the worst. No great breakdown, no tears, no big feelings. I'm just lying there, staring at the tv screen without really seeing anything. Just this numbness inside me and everywhere around me, like I'm stuck in a big grey cottonball and nothing reaches me anymore, and it feels like the world will be grey forever and ever, and I'm not even afraid of it, because there is nothing left inside me to be afraid. Just grey hollow nothingness in me.

I know this doesn't make sense to anyone. maybe it won't even make sense to me tomorrow. but today it's all that is left...

"I'm fine..."

...

... How can one be so afraid to live and so afraid to die at the same time? ...

What the f**** is happening in Ferguson?!

USA, are you alright?! Did you timetravel back in history and the civil rights movement in the 50ies and 60ies never happened?!

It's really haunting what is happening over there... USA plays world police, but can't handle the own police officers at home :-/

A very good summary of the recent events in Ferguson can be found here.

About anxiety disorder...

If you know someone with anxiety (and if you're reading this on MY blog, the probability that you know someone is pretty high... you could say 100%. ), please read this! It's so good and well written and explains so much...

Today in gifs

Change Your World, not Your Body: The Social Impact of Body Love | Jes B...

Supernatural and female representation

This article sums it up pretty good: Why fans are upset about the supernatural nerd HQ

The answer 'We don't need more woman in Supernatural because we don't need romance' exactly proves a point I tried to make in an argument a few weeks ago.
We need more women in tv shows, movies, etc., because whenever there's a female character, you know exactly there's a reason why she is there. And the reason is almost ALWAYS in connection with her gender. Most of the times the reason is one of the following things: a. she's a love interest. b. she's a motherly figure to the male character, or c. she gets fridged to motivate the male character.
(Charlie is an exception to this rule and I really love supernatural for this character  )
I want to see more woman in tvshows, just because they're fucking human beings who make up 50% of the population and have lifes and jobs! Where are the female police officers, the doctors, hunters, etc.? If it doesn't matter at all which gender a character is, why is he most of the times male? Doesn't make sense to me at all...

Carpe Diem: Who is it that has made you feel as though you hav...

"Why do I feel the need to continually apologise for everything I do? If this is the case, and this is how I feel, am I essentially apologising for breathing the air I breathe and taking up the space that I do in this world?"

It feels so good when someone else puts your feelings in words much better than you yourself could ever do...



Carpe Diem: Who is it that has made you feel as though you hav...: Yesterday I worked for 10 hours. That is a fact and it isn't something I'm complaining about, it's a statement. I think that som...

Carl Espen - Silent Storm (Norway) 2014 Eurovision Song Contest

Should feel whole
But the void
A silent storm

I'm here to us my heart and my hands
Somhow the bruises changed my plans

And there's a silent storm inside me
Looking for a home
I hope that somone's gonna find me
And say that I belong
I'll wait forever and a lifetime
To find I'm not alone
There's a silent storm inside meh
One day I'll be calm....

Tom Hiddleston Flaunt Magazine - Long Version2)

...

"I'm still depressed, but how depressed I am varies, which is good. Much of the time, it's a comfortable numbness that just makes things feel muted.
Other times, I'm standing in the shower or something and I can feel the nothingness hurtling toward me at eigth thousand miles per hour and there's nothing I can really do aside from let it happen and wait until it goes away again."

- Allie Brosh, Hyperbole and a Half